Peet’s Coffee is hiring a ‘chief cold brew officer,’ and a restaurant hired a fake priest to ‘extract’ its workers’ sins

Hello, it’s Friday! And you know what that means? Yes, it’s time for another round of weird news in retail where we scour the internet to find you the strangest, most likely, and unbelievable bits of news happening in the retail world.

Alright, so this week, it seems like a sandwich chain has gone beyond experimenting with accessories and apparel and is now launching its own version of sandwich-themed swimwear. And a certain restaurant owes its staff a LOT of money for hiring a fake priest to force them into confessions.

• Panera has launched a new line of fusion swimwear that includes soup, salad, and sandwich-themed swimsuits as part of its “Swim Soups: the You Pick 2 Collection.”
• A California restaurant owes its workers $140,000 in back wages for hiring a fake priest to “extract” the workers’ sins.
• Peet’s Coffee is hiring a “Chief Cold Brew Officer” to be paid in an endless supply of, well, Peet’s cold brew coffee.

Our loyal newsletter fans, as always, might have stumbled upon a fake piece of news about a certain research lab in Scotland which is looking for a tasting notes officer to be paid to taste beers throughout the week in exchange for housing and an $80,000 salary. Okay, c’mon now, free beers and free housing plus an $80k salary? We said research lab, not fantasyland.